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The 5 Levels of Cursing

July 23, 2010

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Warning: I have been debating on whether or not to post this controversial little darling for some time now, but I figure since I’m clean and I’m not saying any bad words myself, it’s savvy. Let me know if I am mistaken and I will remove it. I reiterate, I will not be saying any curse words myself during this post, any curse words inferred are due to your own downfalls as a proper human bean.

I’ve never been much of a curser. Not the thingy on your screen here (that either) but never really been big on using cuss words out loud. Just not my style. I like to be a bit more creative with my rhetorical wanderings.

Don’t get me wrong, I tried it out for 2 full weeks in 7th grade. It just sounds awkward verbally exiting my mouth, like a bird cooking eggs for dinner. It just doesn’t work for me, which works out great because in the teaching profession, cursing in front of the children is frowned upon.

So for the most part, I just don’t cuss. I have been cussed at on occasion, but always a bridesmaid never a bride. On average, I would say about one cuss word about once every 10 months. I did flirt with the idea of the potty mouth again when one of my buddies told me it was okay to cuss as long as it’s funny, but I don’t how my heart feels about that just yet.

Regardless of my ramblings, I found that many of my students and adults alike are not aware of the 7 official curse words and their individual degrees of inappropriateness. So, about a year ago, I developed a rating system that declares the varying degrees of badness of the 7 legitimate curse words, the very serious and disgusting “UnSpeakable” (which is so awful it defies all levels of ranking) and those that just barely missed the cut.

I’ve cleverly disguised the real curse words with loosely related words of no profane significance.

If you can’t decipher a few of the words, then good. Keep yourself pure and unscathed by the evils of such profanity.

*I know there are no level 4’s, that’s because the one Level 5 is so bad it double dutches right over it.

Ps. Please don’t try to figure them out in my comments. For the children, please.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2010 10:39 am

    You forgot the worst word of all time. Girls hate it. Guys refuse to say it. It’s rarely in R-rated movies. If you say it in even among hard-core gang members who have no problem dropping people with a 9 mm, you’ll be ostracized and kicked out of the group.

    It rhymes with what one does with a gun on a deer lease. That’s all I’m saying, and even that’s too much.

    • July 24, 2010 1:00 pm

      Haha. Yes, that one is rare because of its severe inappropriateness. It’s at least a Stage 9 Honorable Mention, which can be higher than a few of the 5 Levels.

  2. July 25, 2010 3:01 am

    haha hilarious. my mom until now thinks I don’t curse. Or have never cursed. I feel nailed. :/ Fudge!

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