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Best SNL Character Ever: Sweet 16

May 3, 2011

It’s that time of year the month the week again people, Tournament Tuesday! Where you get to represent and/or vote on something that will go down in the annuals of history. That’s not right…too late now. 

Voting ends Monday night. Cast your vote for the best SNL Character ever. 

Also, make sure you click on people’s names and go to their sites, because they are all the most attractive people I’ve ever seen ever. Go. 

The Church Lady (Joe): Someone is trying to talk you into not liking the Church Lady. “Now, who could it be? Could it be … Satan?”.We may not remember her as well as others, but one thing we can be sure of is that she loves us and doesn’t judge us….“Well, isn’t that special?”

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Alex Trebek (Ben): I love how much he hates his job. He also has cool hair. A couple of my favorite categories from the show are “States Ending In Hampshire” and “Current Black Presidents”.

Marty and Bobbi Culp (Sara): Why my characters are the best SNL characters ever: Admit it, you always wanted your middle school music teachers to bust out into an operatic rendition of Baby Got Back. And you totally want to use the phrase “roll up a fattie full of fellowship” to promote your next church potluck. Say no to drugs, kids!

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Bjork (Kevin): Kristen Wiig’s impersonation of the Icelandic singer is as dead on and humorous as the actual phrases she uses.  We don’t know whether to laugh or think what kind of fantasy land is Bjork apart of?  I will leave you with a quote from Bjork talking about the recession “I think we should stop using paper money, and we should instead pay for things with clouds” http://www.hulu.com/watch/56633/saturday-night-live-update-bjork

Aunt Sue (Kevin): Kristen Wiig plays an Aunt who cannot keep a secret if her life depended on it, she cannot contain her excitement! There have only been 2 skits of this character in the last year and her fan, including me, are wanting MORE! Quote: “OOOOhhhhhh mmmyyyy Gaaaaaawwwwwwdddd”

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Matt Foley (Wes): Chris Farley is arguably one of the most beloved SNL performers of all time, and his character, Matt Foley, is one of the reasons he’s remembered as one of the best. Matt Foley has all the elements of what make a great SNL character – funny voice, great physical comedy, and quotable tag line: “I live in a VAY-UN down by the RIVER!”

Rick the Copy Guy (Chase): “Rick the Copy Guy… Rickkkk… the Richmeister… the Richinator 2000… makin’ copies… annoyin’ every person in the office during the early 90’s… played by Rob Schneider… the Robmeister… Help! Police! There’s a Rob-berrrr! And he stole Schneider’s career… appearin’ in every Sandler movie… not actin’ much… but cool when playin’ the Rick… the Rickster…”

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Barney the Chippendales Dancer (Dustin): What is better? Patrick Swayze’s smooth, hard body enticing da ladies… or Farley’s jiggly belly rhythmically bouncing to Loverboy’s classic “Working For The Weekend”? You know the right choice.

Linda Richman (Jeff & Mary): Great Yiddish vocab. Hilarious use of New Jersey accent. Great improv.

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Wayne & Garth (Jared): Looking over this list of nominated characters, it’s obvious that none have had the broad cultural impact of Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. Sure, a handful of SNL diehards could quote parts of a Brian Fellows sketch, or tell you that “Coffee Talk” was the name of Linda Richman’s show, but everybody knows Wayne, Garth, and that Bohemian Rhapsody video, whether they watch SNL or not. In a debate about “Greatest Characters Ever,” there is really only one thing to say: Wayne’s World, Wayne’s World, Party Time, Excellent.

Penelope (Gabriella): Penelope because she comes up with the most ridiculous one-ups. And because all of us can think of someone who acts like her in our lives! Arg!

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Gilly: Everyone loves to hate her to love her. She’s like a princess mixed with Satan minus the princess in a dress. You know she done stabbed you with a fork.

Gene Frenkle (Scott):  “Guess what? I gotta fever….and the only prescription is more cowbell.”

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The Target Lady (Megan): Kristen Wiig does magical things, it’s a fact, and I consider myself a connoisseur of her work and AS SUCH, I feel confident putting the Target Lady up for best SNL character. Justin Timberlake clearly supports her (and if he doesn’t get a vote I don’t know who does), she’s got a sweet bowl cut hairdo, and the whimsical way she leaves the register to look for that wicker bag with spring flowers and a bamboo handle gets me every time. PLUS she’s only on every now and then, which I think means it’s more special than the others –  the Target Lady is an unsung hero who deserves to be sung.

The Butabi Brothers: These two might not be recognized without “What is love, baby don’t hurt me” playing in the background. Stars of Night at the Roxbury and co-chairs of Best Dancers and Bump Artists Anonymous, they’ll dance until the Club done thrown up.

Stefon: SNL’s hottest character is Club Stefon. He’s got hermit craps with shells painted like facial hair, a purple box with other boxes inside it with a box inside of it with a box inside of it and a first edition of Where the Red Fern Grows inside of it, and a hat that doubles as a toilet.

That’s it. Make your vote and change the world, in that order. Also, if you want to get in the game, you can just let me know that you want to take over one of these characters and represent them: Gilly, the Butabi Brothers, or Stefon.

Who else should’ve made the list?

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